


call me up whenever you wanna grind

by zombiejuju



Series: Saphael Week [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Background Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Background Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Biting, Booty Calls, Clubbing, Coffee Shops, Hand Jobs, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Saphael Week 2017, Social Media, Stranger Sex, Underage Drinking, mundane AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2019-01-01 02:31:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12146715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zombiejuju/pseuds/zombiejuju
Summary: “Looking at this guy who wants to meet up with Simon.”Jace stares at the screen, smirking, “A snake, a vampire skull, goth as fuck roses, and coffins. Edgy.”“Yeah, but look at what it says! Those coffins are what told me he’s potential boyfriend material.”





	call me up whenever you wanna grind

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from "Darling Nikki" by Prince.
> 
> Warnings: Elaine's alcoholism is mentioned, Jace is insensitive, poor judgment, Clary wants Jace to catch these fists, some blood shit, someone decides it's okay to touch Jace (it's not).
> 
> Prompted by: [Saphael Week Day 4](https://fyeahsaphael.tumblr.com/post/164294220131/hii-so-recently-there-has-been-a-lack-of-saphael) (Social Media AU).
> 
> Check out the aesthetic [here](https://zombiejuju.tumblr.com/private/165561582614/tumblr_ow6jwymKJZ1vzwtyk).

_rafangael.sant started following you. 1w_

_jace.heronfail started following you. 3w_

_elaine.lewis started following you. 5w_

_thecoolislewis started following you. 7w_

_papaluke started following you. 7w_

_jocelyn.fraygarroway started following you. 7w_

_clarebear started following you. 7w_

 

Simon’s sitting at a splintered hand-me-down desk, swiveling side to side in his cheap plastic computer chair.

“Si, you really have to start checking this more. What was the point of making it at all if you’re barely going to use it?” Clary asks. She’s standing behind Simon, chin on his shoulder. She watches as he follows everyone back.

“Hey, I have 112 posts,” He throws out.

“Yeah, and your latest one was two months ago,” Clary reprimands, removing herself from Simon’s back and stepping away. She points to the screen, fingertip almost touching the monitor, “Plus, you have a new follower that’s _not_ one of us.”

“Wait, some stranger actually wants to see this little nerd’s face?” Jace asks, dropping his dumbbells onto the floor. He walks over to Simon, reading the monitor over his shoulder, “Jace.heronfail. Wait, that’s what Alec made my name?”

Clary glares at Jace, “Don’t call him a nerd.”

“Clarebear, his bio literally spells out N.E.R.D.,” Jace turns away, head turned to the doorway, “Hey, Alec. C’mere.”

“Also, weights are heavy when they hit the floor, asshole,” Clary says, smacking Jace’s bicep with the back of her hand. Her attitude changes when her skin collides with solid muscle, “You know what? Nevermind. It was a stupid thing to be mad about.”

Jace smirks at her while Alec stomps into the room. Jace’s smile droops into an annoyed frown, “You made my fucking name ‘jace.heronfail’, you dick?”

“That’s why you called me in here?” Alec asks. His eyes widen in exasperation, mouth parted slightly while he gazes at Jace in a stupor. He bursts into laughter, eyes gleaming and lips splitting apart. He walks over to Jace and pats him on the shoulder before returning to the doorway, “Learn how to do your own shit.”

“I think it’s cool. It’s a pun and it rhymes with your actual name,” Simon says, earning a glare from Jace. He backs down immediately, looking at Alec instead, “Hey, Alec. Why aren’t you following me?”

“Because I don’t like you,” Alec says before walking out of the room and down the hall.

“Your brother’s an ass,” Clary turns back to the screen to read over Simon’s shoulder.

“Luke’s name is _really_ lame,” Simon says.

“Really? I think it’s fitting,” Clary responds before pointing to another name on the screen, “You’re one to talk. Look at Rebecca’s name. ‘Thecoolislewis’?”

“Yeah, well, your mom isn’t much better. Literally just her name.”

“That’s a mom thing,” Clary says, drifting her finger up on the screen, “Look at your mom’s.”

“Isn’t it a little sad that Clary’s mom followed you before your own mom did?” Jace asks.

“It’s not,” Clary interrupts, “Mama Lewis has only had Instagram for a month. Becca made it for her.”

“Oh, well...at least following your mom back on Instagram is a good way to see if she’s drinking,” Jace says.

“Jace, shut up,” Clary chides.

“How?”

“Does she post selfies with drinks in her hands? Does she geotag bars and clubs constantly? Are all of her followers party people? Are people tagging her at parties?”

“You can’t make an Instagram account on your own but somehow you’d make a great P.I.,” Clary says. Her jaw drops, eyes shining as she gazes at him in wonder.

* * *

“Have you looked at the new guy yet?” Clary asks as she lays beside Simon on his bed. She rests her head on his shoulder, watching as he scrolls through his Instagram feed.

“Yeah, and he’s cute.”

“Shit, Si. Look. He wants to DM you. Hit yes, hit yes!”

“Sure. I mean this sounds like how every horror movie about nubile youths starts, but yeah, I’ll give this guy a direct line into my life.”

“You’re the one that said he’s cute,” Clary replies, tapping his chest with the back of her hand.

“He...wants to meet up,” Simon says, shaking Clary awake some time later. She realizes she must’ve dozed off when he started DMing whoever the Hell _rafangael.sant_ is. It was pretty boring at first, but now…

“Wait, he wants to meet you?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you even know his name?”

“You’re gonna feel really dumb, but Raphael. Literally in his username.”

“Is he local?” Clary asks. Simon nods. She uses her fingernails to pry gunk from the corners of her eyes as she tries to focus on his phone, “Let me see his page.”

Jace trots in and plops on the bed between Clary and Simon. Simon grumbles and readjusts, giving Jace space on the bed so they’re not sardined together anymore, “Dick.”

“Ayup,” Jace reaches for Simon’s phone and holds it in the middle for them, “What are we doing?”

“Looking at this guy who wants to meet up with Simon.”

Jace stares at the screen, smirking, “A snake, a vampire skull, goth as fuck roses, and coffins. Edgy.”

“Yeah, but look at what it says! Those coffins are what told me he’s potential boyfriend material.”

“Potentially crazy, maybe,” Clary adds.

“Well, he’d have to be to like Simon,” Jace says. Clary smacks his shoulder.

“So...you’re going to go on a date with a guy who thinks he’s a vampire?” Clary asks.

“Not a date, just gonna meet ‘im.”

“This is a bad idea,” Clary says, sitting up and rubbing her hands together, “You shouldn’t go out with anyone from the internet, let alone someone who wants to suck your blood!”

“He’s cute, though.”

Clary sighs, “At least his profile picture has a cute dog in it.”

“That’s his!” Simon exclaims, “You gotta trust a guy with a cute dog.”

“Okay, fine. Have it your way. But Jace and I are coming with you when you meet up.”

“I’m not the secret service, babe,” Jace says. Clary glares at him and scoots further from his side, “Just kidding. I guess, just this once, I can protect your dorky friend from himself.”

* * *

“I can’t believe you’re going out with someone _that_ boring,” Magnus drawls. He swishes his iced tea around in its plastic cup before sipping it. He’s sitting beside Alec in Starbucks, their joined hands resting on his bent knee.

“How do you know that isn’t his girlfriend?” Maia asks from the other side of the table, gazing over Raphael’s shoulder at his phone, watching as he scrolls through Instagram.

“What do you mean?” Magnus asks, grabbing for Raphael’s phone and lifting the screen so both he and Alec can see it, “Oh. That redhead.”

Alec glares at the screen, “Wait, I know this guy. That’s not his girlfriend, that’s Clary.”

“Jace’s Clary?” Magnus asks. He sits up straighter.

Alec nods and turns to Raphael. He lifts his free hand to mask his smirk, “You’re...going out with Clary’s dweeby best friend?”

“What’s wrong with funny, smart guys? So he likes sci-fi and fantasy. I like horror and vampires. At least I know he won’t judge me all the time like you assholes,” Raphael says. He takes a swig of his Frappula without the straw, causing strawberry purée to drip from the corner of his lips. He dabs at it with a napkin.

“Too bad nerd boy wasn’t here,” Alec says, “I’m sure the fact that you just looked like an actual vampire feeding would’ve gotten him hard enough to cut diamonds.”

“At least he likes memes,” Maia offers.

* * *

Jace rolls his eyes and sighs for the millionth time as they wait in the goth club Simon agreed to meet Raphael at. He’s sitting at a table with Clary and Simon, getting checked out by guys and girls and everything in between and outside of. One dude (he thinks?) even thought it was okay to start dancing on him when they were standing at the bar earlier. It’s only been 35 minutes.

“Hey, who the fuck is that vampire dude on your Instagram?” Jace asks before Raphael even has the chance to get comfortable on an armless couch.

“What ‘vampire dude’?” Raphael asks, situating himself on sticky red pleather. He throws his right ankle over his left knee and undoes a single button on the top of his suit jacket.

“The one that’s all like blah...blah...blah,” Jace says. He holds his hands up, bending his fingers like he has terrible arthritis in his knuckles, and gives Raphael an intense stare.

“Bela Lugosi,” Raphael responds. He turns his head, scoffs, and rolls his eyes.

“So, do you have a biting kink?”

“Go away, dick,” Simon says, glaring at Jace.

“But Si, we…”

Simon turns to Clary and whispers in her ear, “Your boyfriend is literally embarrassing me so bad. Please take him away from here.”

Raphael watches with narrowed eyes, gaze sharp, as Clary takes Jace by the forearm and leads him away from their little table in the corner. He turns his attention back to Simon, “Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes, I’m into biting.”

“Oh,” Simon replies, blushing and refusing to meet Raphael’s eyes, “You didn’t have to answer that. He was just being his usual asshole self.”

“Did _you_ know who that vampire guy was on my Instagram?”

“Yeah,” Simon nods, licking his lips at the intense way Raphael is observing him, “But not because of _Dracula_ . Because of _The Body Snatcher_.”

“That’s more your speed, hm? Technically horror but sci-fi enough,” Raphael pauses, “Well, at least you’ve seen classic films.”

* * *

After two beers, a margarita that was more tequila than anything else, and four double shots of something called ‘Plasma’, Simon’s being tugged down a dark hallway by Raphael. Through his dazed fog, Simon sees that Raphael is holding his hand.

Raphael knocks three times on a shabby wooden door painted wine red. Simon tries to tame his blurred vision, to read the black numbers on the door, but they end up meaning nothing to him.

Hearing no response, Raphael pushes the door open and yanks Simon inside. The room isn’t very big, nothing more than a glorified closet really, and it only takes a few wobbling steps for Simon to fall onto some kind of furniture. A bed, he thinks, as he turns onto his back and clutches silk in his palms. But that can’t be right, because what kind of nightclub has beds?

“The _seedy_ kind,” Simon mumbles to himself as Raphael crawls over the bed toward him, putting his hands on Simon’s waist.

“What was that?” Raphael asks. His hands slide from Simon’s hips to meet near his zipper.

“Nothing.”

Raphael hums in response, slender fingers popping open the button and sliding down the zipper on Simon’s pants. Simon lifts his head enough to look down at Raphael, holding his breath, stomach taut as he waits for the other man to continue.

Raphael jerks Simon’s pants and boxers down to just above his knees and slides up the bed to lay beside him. He rests on his left hip, right leg thrown over one of Simon’s. Simon tenses, aware of just how one sudden move could send Raphael’s knee colliding into his exposed erection.

Raphael grasps Simon’s length, gives a few loose tugs, and presses his lips to the flesh covering Simon’s jugular. He nips at the skin there, a promise of harder bites to come, and whispers against Simon’s neck, “I promise I’ll like you just as much tomorrow as I do right now.”

Simon gasps, nods, and gives himself over absolutely to Raphael’s ministrations. Raphael quickens the pace of his hand and starts annihilating Simon’s neck with his teeth.

* * *

Simon walks into his and Clary’s apartment the morning after, dopey grin on his face and clothes unkempt. His neck is covered in a bouquet of red and purple and blue bruises.

“Wow. I shoulda known he was hitting you up for a booty call,” Jace says to Simon after looking at him for just a second.

Clary’s attention snaps to Simon, eyes roving over him until they come to rest on his marked neck, “Oh my God! Si, are you okay?”

“Yup, ‘m good.”

“But he...your neck?”

Simon nods, eyes glazed over. His text tone goes off and he looks at his phone, smile widening, “ _So_ good.”

“Let me guess, he wants round two?” Jace asks.

“Round two,” Simon scoffs, “We’re way beyond that.”

“The biting thing?” Clary asks.

“He’s hot. He likes me,” Simon stops near the door to his bedroom, “I’m not sure I mind the biting thing, like, _at all_.”


End file.
